Letting go
by Salieri
Summary: Prequel to I believed you, thanks to lovely reviews. This is the story how Neji and Sakura got together. COMPLETED! NejiSaku
1. chapter 1

_Well, this is the prequel to "I believed you" and explains how Neji and Sakura got together in the first place. I didn't plan to write something like this but I got so many nice reviews for "I believed you" that I felt… well… inspired to write this. It will have one or two more chapters, so tell me what you think! _

_Oh, and in addition it's a little christmas story too, since I feel so NOT like christmas when I look out of the window and see the sun shining and blue sky and no hint of snow… _

_Please review and tell me what you think! _

_***_

Letting go – Chapter 1

It was December 23rd, about 3 years after Sasuke had left the village. All unimportant missions had been delayed until the 26th to give the Shinobi of Konoha the chance to celebrate Christmas with their families. Sakura didn't really have a family. Her parents were not at home and probably wouldn't return before the new year. One of her two best friends, Hinata, was going to be just as lonely on Christmas eve. Her father had left with her sister Hanabi to visit a teacher in a nearby village. Hiashi had never cared much about holidays. Both girls didn't feel like being alone during the holidays, so they had decided to spend these evenings together at Hinata's place. 

Frustrated, Sakura stared out of the window. "Do you think it's going to snow tomorrow? Christmas without snow will be so boring…" 

"I don't know… it doesn't feel like Christmas anyway. We don't even have a Christmas tree." 

Sakura sighed. Neither did she. It was depressing. Even Naruto was going to spend the holidays with someone, namely his beloved teacher Iruka, who was like an older brother to him. "I hate the holidays. Why don't we just get drunk tomorrow and spend Christmas morning with a hangover?" 

Hinata giggled. And, much to Sakura's surprise, she said: "That's a great idea. It's not like anyone is going to see us anyway." 

"What about your cousin? Doesn't he live in this house too?" 

"Yeah. But he hates Christmas. He'll probably spend the holidays with training and we won't even get to see him." 

"Well, then it's settled! We're getting drunk tomorrow and we better have a lot of fun! Ha!" She didn't sound all that convincing. A hint of sadness shone through her eyes and Hinata got up from her bed to comfort her friend. 

"You still miss him, don't you?", she asked quietly, hugging her tightly. 

Sakura let her forehead sink against the cool glass of the window and sighed. "Of course I do. If I knew at least that he is alright… but there has been no sign of life for over 3 years. He is somewhere out there and I don't know if he is in pain or if he's dead already, or…" 

"Shhh. Don't worry, Sakura-chan. Sasuke is one of the strongest Shinobi I ever met. He can take care of himself." 

A single tear slid down her face. "I make a wish on Christmas eve, every year. I always wish for him to come back. Even if he'd still ignore me or say all these mean things to me, at least I'd be sure that he is alive." 

"Please, Sakura-chan, don't cry. Please.", Hinata muttered depressed. She did not want her friend to spend the holidays crying. 

Slowly, Sakura nodded and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry. I promise you I won't cry any more." She inhaled deeply and stared into the darkness outside, still fighting back the tears. A sudden movement below her caught her eyes. "Who's that?", she wondered. 

"What?" Hinata pushed her aside to take a look for herself. Now that Sakura took a closer look, she could see a person down there in the huge garden, she just wasn't sure what he was doing. "Ah, that's just Neji-niisan.", Hinata said in relief. "As I told you, he's training." 

"But it's freezing cold out there!", Sakura exclaimed. Neji was wearing his usual clothes, which meant he had to be freezing his ass off down there. 

Hinata sighed. "I know. I gave up telling him to go and train inside a long time ago. He won't listen to me anyway. He says it's part of the training." 

"What a weird guy…", Sakura muttered. They continued to watch Neji as he spun around a few times, practicing numerous kicks and punches. After a while, he stopped that and sat down on the ground. Sakura shivered at the very thought of the cold grass he was sitting in. Thank god that there wasn't any snow yet. "What's he doing now?" 

"Meditating.", Hinata sighed. "He won't move for at least half an hour." 

"God, I can't watch this!", Sakura hissed and stepped away from the window, searching the room for her shoes and her coat. 

"W-What are you doing?" 

"I'm going to get him back into the house, that's what I'm doing!" She slipped into her coat and her shoes and turned to face Hinata. "Are you coming along or not?" 

"Sakura-chan… I know you're a kind person and just want to help him, but… he'll get mad at you. He hates it when people disturb his training." 

"We'll see…" Ignoring Hinatas protests, she stomped down the stairs. She left the house and surrounded the building until she found Neji, who was – just as Hinata predicted – still sitting quietly with his legs crossed and his arms placed on his knees. He had his eyes closed but she was pretty sure that he had sensed her presence already. 

"Sakura-chan, don't…", Hinata whispered. 

But Sakura was tired of seeing people risk their health. It brought back memories, of Lee-san, of Sasuke and even Naruto. At this moment, Neji reminded her so much of them, she just had to do something. She positioned herself in front of him and before she could say anything, he opened his eyes to stare at her angrily. "What do you want?" 

His gaze made her feel a bit uncomfortable, but she tried not to show it. "I saw you sitting out here in the cold and I was… kinda worried. Why don't you get back inside and warm yourself up?" 

He stared at her im complete disbelief. Then he frowned and hissed: "Go away! Can't you see that I am trying to concentrate?" 

"Can't you concentrate in your room?" 

He shook his head as if he couldn't believe his ears. "Stupid woman, just leave me alone!" 

Hinata tugged at Sakuras sleeve. "Let's just go back…" 

"No! What's he trying to prove? Neji-san, you'll catch your death if you stay out here, especially since your only wearing shorts and a T-shirt! Don't be so stubborn and-" She bent down to take his hand and pull him to his feet, but the very second her hand touched his cold skin, he snatched his hand away and grabbed her wrist. His skin felt like ice, and it just proved her that she was right. 

He untangled his legs and stood up slowly. Suddenly she found herself face to face with him, staring directly into his silver eyes. All of a sudden she wasn't so sure of herself any more. His gaze made her uncomfortable, it was like those eyes could see into her soul. "Listen, _woman_. This is none of your business. I don't mind you staying at our house as long as you spend your time with Hinata-sama. But if you talk to me again, or if you dare to disturb my training, I'll make you regret it. Do you understand?" 

Sakura shivered. He was scary. Just like Sasuke. But she wouldn't let him scare her. Instead, she slapped away his hand and hissed: "Well, sorry for being worried about you, bastard! It won't happen again!" 

"You….!", he snarled, but she didn't give him time to insult her. She turned around and – followed by Hinata – she went back into the house. 

"What an ass!", she fumed and marched back to Hinatas room. She practically threw her coat on the floor in an attempt to release her anger. He was the first guy to make her so angry since… well, since that time when Naruto, Sasuke and she had been in a team. 

A shy voice reminded her: "I told you so, Sakura-chan!" 

"You know what? He reminds me of Sasuke. That guy was just as stubborn, and just as cold." 

Hinata smiled at her. She was taking a quick look out of the window. "But it seems that you got what you wanted." 

"Huh?" She came over to the window and saw Neji getting up and walking around the edge. 

"He's coming back inside.", Hinata snickered. "Seems like you've distracted him." 

Sakura just snorted at that remark and sat down on the bed. "Let's just go to sleep, okay? I don't want this evening to be ruined by yet another stupid guy." 

"Okay." They changed into their nightgowns and crawled under the blankets. Before Hinata turned off the lights, she said softly: "Don't be mad at him, Sakura-chan. He's just as lonely as we are." 

"No…", Sakura said. "We have friends. I'm glad you invited me over, Hinata." 

"Me too.", Hinata yawned. She fell asleep pretty fast, but Sakura stayed awake for a little longer. Hinatas words had somehow touched her. Neji was lonely too, right? His father was dead and Hiashi didn't care about him. How was he going to spend Christmas eve? She felt her heart beat a little faster when she thought about how lonely he must be. But it wasn't just sympathy. She wanted him to be happy. She could sense a good heart beneath all that anger. He had helped trying to bring back Sasuke 3 years ago. And he had been one of the first people to acknowledge Naruto's true strength. 

An idea formed in her head and she smiled contently before she fell asleep. She was going to make sure he wouldn't feel alone this Christmas. 

***

December 24th. Sakura had spend the entire afternoon giving out presents to her closest friends. It had made her feel much better. Especially Naruto had been overjoyed when she had given him that scarf she had knitted only for him. She was pretty sure he was going to wear it this winter, he'd been so happy and thanked her with a giant hug. Others had been a little surprised to get a gift from her, like Kakashi who was a little embarassed that he had forgotten to buy her something – again. 

She smiled to herself. Things really hadn't changed. There was still the small, neatly wrapped parcel resting on a special place in her room, waiting for its owner to pick it up after 3 long years. There was a small silver necklace in it, with the Uchiha Fan imprinted on one side of the pendant, and on the other it said '_Welcome home'_. She had bought it for Sasuke on the first Christmas after he left. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to give it to him. Or if he would ever wear it even if she had the chance to give it to him. 

She shook off the thought and checked the bag she was carrying. There were Hinatas presents, one from Sakura herself and one Naruto had given her for Hinata… Sakura was sure that whatever Narutos present was, Hinata would be overjoyed. She had this huge crush on Naruto and he still had no clue. But at least he considered her a close friend, close enough to buy her a present anyway. But there was something else in the bag. And Sakura couldn't help but wonder how _he _was going to react. He was probably going to throw it back in her face with an insult, but she had to try anyway. 

She shivered when she approached the Hyuga estate. Something cold touched her hand and she realized it was a snowflake. She smiled brightly. So she was granted at least that wish. It was going to snow on Christmas eve. It was like a sign that something good was going to happen. She drew her coat tighter around herself and surrounded the main house. 

As she had expected, there he was, sitting in the darkness just like yesterday. His eyes were closed and this time he looked completely relaxed. Maybe he hadn't noticed her. As quiet as possible she pulled out the dark-blue blanket from her bag. "Neji-san.", she said so he would not mistake her for an enemy and attack her. Then she knelt down next to him and placed the blanket around his shoulders. 

His eyes opened slowly and he seemed confused for a moment. He fingers brushed over his bare arm. His skin was so cold. His silver eyes found hers and he asked: "What are you doing?" She was surprised at the softness of his voice. Maybe she had caught him off-guard. 

"Merry Christmas, Neji-san.", she said. He stared at her with a blank expression. She laughed softly and explained: "It's a christmas gift, Neji-san. So you won't get too cold out here." 

She attempted to stand up and go back to the front door, when he once again reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Didn't I tell you not to disturb my training?" Strangely enough, there was no malice in his voice. 

Sakura shrugged. "Well, I can be really stubborn sometimes. Don't worry, I'll leave you alone with your meditation or whatever you're doing. Just wanted to make sure you don't freeze to death out here." 

He frowned at her as if he was looking for something mean to say, but he didn't. He kept silent. That gave her courage. "If you… get too cold or feel lonely, you could join Hinata and me. We'll be drinking Christmas punch." She smiled at him and he let go of her wrist. 

She picked up her bag and left him there. She was really glad that he hadn't refused to take her gift. Okay, maybe he had just been too surprised. But maybe he did really like it.

***

Two hours later, Sakura and Hinata were having a lot of fun. Hinata had finally gotten over the initial shock of receiving a Christmas gift from her all-time-crush Naruto and had an uncharacteristically huge grin on her face. Sakura enjoyed the taste of warm punch and the peace of not having to think of Sasuke for a while. 

"Hinata, your punch is the best thing I ever tasted… it's so good on a winter's day. And it's snowing, now it almost feels like real Christmas." 

Hinata smiled brightly. "But I think there's a little too much alcohol in it. If we drink that huge bowl all by ourselves we _will_ have a hangover tomorrow. After all we're not used to drinking." 

"Y-Yeah…", Sakura muttered. Actually, that was not entirely true. It was one of the few things she couldn't even tell her best friends. Sometimes, when she got too lonely and her worries over Sasuke seemed to be too much for her, she would drink all by herself until none of that mattered any more. She was pretty sure that some warm punch wouldn't really get to her, because it wasn't much compared to the amounts of alcohol she consumed from time to time to forget Sasuke. To change the topic, she asked quietly: "What's the time? Is it officially Christmas already?" 

"No… not yet.", Hinata said with a glance at her wristwatch. "We still have 35 minutes till midnight." 

Sakura ginned. "Time for another song! How bout… Jingle bells?" 

Her friend sighed. "You know I can't sing, Sakura-chan. Don't make me do this again!" 

"Just one more song!", she begged until Hinata gave in. The two girls joined their voices for the most disturbing version of Jingle Bells in history. 

Right in the middle of their song, there was a knock on the door. They fell silent immediately and when Hinata muttered a shy "Yes?" the door opened. It was Neji. Both girls stared at him in surprise. Hinatas expression became serious immediately. "Neji-niisan! Is something wrong?" Obviously she was not used to have her cousin visit her in her room. 

He glanced at the two girls and said darkly: "I heard some strange sounds and was wondering if people got killed in here so I went to check." 

Both of them stared at him blankly, before Sakura finally got it. She giggled and then laughed out loud. Hinata still seemed to be too shocked that someone had heard their singing. But Sakura was delighted. When she finally regained her breath, she said cheerfully: "I _cannot _believe it! Hyuga Neji is _joking! _Hell must be freezing over!" 

He frowned at her, but before he could leave the room she jumped up and dragged him into the room. "Sorry, Neji-kun. I promise there will be no more singing.", she giggled. He was completely silent when she sat him down on Hinatas bed, probably because she was acting so naturally around him or maybe because she had just called him Neji-kun. Anyway, Sakura prepared a cup of punch and handed it over to a stunned Neji. "Here you go! It'll warm you up!" 

His silver eyes surveyed her. 

She was glad he had joined them, although she was still not sure if he had come just to complain about their singing or if he had really wanted to drink a cup of punch which she had invited him to. Hinata, who was sitting next to him, had fallen completely silent. The expression on her face was priceless. It was like she couldn't believe her cousin was in her room drinking punch with her and her best friend. 

"What's wrong with you guys?", she asked. "It's Christmas eve. Smile!" 

Nejis brows furrowed. "You're drunk." 

"No.", she replied, although she knew that he was right. Well, she was not exactly drunk, but tipsy, and that was enough to loosen her tongue. "I'm just trying to celebrate with friends without having to think of that ass Sasuke." 

Hinata still seemed unsure of what to do now. Maybe she was afraid that Neji was going to tell her father she was drunk. "Ano… excuse me for a second…", she muttered and rushed out of the room before Sakura could stop her. 

Which left her alone with Neji, who seemed a little uncomfortable now. He got up and said quickly: "Well, thanks for the… punch… and…" He stood right in front of her and inhaled sharply. "And thanks for your gift." 

She wanted to say something but she just couldn't bring herself to. Something was wrong. Her heart was beating so fast and she could feel her cheeks heaten up. His silver eyes were making her so nervous. Sakura swallowed hard. He was waiting for an answer and she desperately wanted to say something. But she couldn't. She desperately reached out and grabbed his shirt, so he wouldn't just leave like that. It felt damp, probably from the snow. 

He didn't shove her hand away. He just stared at her, searching for an explanation for her weird behaviour in her eyes. She felt so exposed when his silver eyes looked at her like that. She forced herself to take a step forward and close the distance between them until her chest almost touched his. Her hand was still holding his shirt, like a child that was clinging to its father to make sure he wouldn't leave. She felt stupid. Why wasn't he mocking her? Why was he still here? 

And then he leaned in and placed his lips against hers for a shy kiss. She felt her knees go weak and tightened her grip on his shirt so she wouldn't just break down. Her heart was beating so hard against her chest that she was afraid he was going to hear it. 

When the unexpected kiss was over, she felt… disappointed. And confused. For over three years Sasuke had been the only man on her mind. And now the most unexpectant of all people, Hyuga Neji, made her knees go weak and her head feel dizzy. This had to be a weird dream. But if it was, she didn't want to wake up. 

She could tell that he was just as confused as she was. He probably didn't even know why he just did that. She licked her lips. His had tasted like punch. So good… 

He took a step back and her hand lost its hold on his shirt. Whatever trance she had been in, it was gone now. Things were back to normal. He turned away from her and left the room, brushing past his cousin who had just returned from wherever she had fled to. 

The door closed and Sakura tried to regain her composure. Hinata said something but she wasn't able to listen. She pressed two fingers against her lips and felt Hinata take the cup from her hands. "You're so pale. Are you okay, Sakura-chan?", she heard her friend say. 

Then her knees finally gave in and she sank to the ground. Hinata knelt down beside her. "Sakura-chan?! What's wrong?" 

"He kissed me…", she muttered. 

"What? Who?" Hinata emitted a stifled sound of surprise when she realized who Sakura was referring to. "Neji?! Neji-niisan _kissed _you?!" 

"Hinata, I… I don't..." Sakura stammered helplessly. She felt guilty. As if she had just betrayed Sasuke. Her eyes filled with tears and she let herself be pulled into a tight hug. She let the tears flow freely. Where did this pain in her chest come from? 

"Do you like my cousin?", Hinata asked carefully. Sakura sniffed but couldn't bring herself to answer. She didn't know the answer herself. But when Hinata said "Maybe it's time that you give up on Sasuke. It's time to let go, Sakura-chan." she understood the pain she felt. It hurt because she had to let go. 

She wasn't sure if she was ready yet. But Neji had managed to get to her, to touch something within her she thought she had kept only for Sasuke. Maybe she was crying over her love for Sasuke. 

_…tbc…_


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sakura didn't know what to do. She had spent the entire morning staring blankly at the wall, trying to find a way out of this mess. Now that she was sober, things were even more complicated. Why had she let this happen? Neji kissed her. She should have pushed him away or at least show him that she didn't enjoy that kiss at all. She sighed. No, that would have been a lie. The kiss had been so sweet and wonderful, even now she couldn't convince herself that she didn't like it. 

But what was going to happen now? What if Neji tried something like that again? She liked him, even more so now that he had shown her a part of his true self, a gentle and good-hearted young man, but that was not the problem. He wasn't. The problem was Sasuke. She was still waiting for his return to the hidden leaf village. She had saved herself for him, and for the past three years she had blocked out any attempt of the boys in the village to get close to her. She'd always felt like she was meant to belong to Sasuke and no one else. 

Now she wasn't so sure of that any more. 

Sakura sighed and leaned her head against the wall. She was still in love with Sasuke and she was so worried about him. There was a part of her that belonged only to him and getting close to anyone would have been unfair. She decided to avoid Neji for the next few weeks, just to make sure. She wouldn't go to the Hyuga house any more and she would ask Tsunade for missions out of the village. 

***

Days passed and nothing happened. As she had planned, Sakura applied for longer missions that would keep her away from the Hidden Leaf. They wouldn't start before the new year, but she was positive that wouldn't meet Neji until then. He hadn't tried to contact her so she assumed that the kiss was meaningless to him and there was no need to worry. Ino and Hinata – of course – loved the idea of her and Neji becoming a couple. Ino spent hours talking to her, trying to convince her to call Neji or visit him and see if he was interested in her at all. But Sakura refused to do so. She wasn't ready. And he had probably already forgotten about that meaningless kiss and she would just make a fool out of herself if she tried to contact him. 

On december 29th, something happened that ruined her plans. She received a call from Ino, who was currently at the Hyuga house. An unknown Shinobi had entered the Hyuga estate and tried to assassinate Hinata. Her worries for Hinata made her forget about her plan to avoid Neji and she came over to the Hyuga home as fast as she could. 

When she arrived, a lot of Hyuga family members were gathered up in the living room discussing the situation. Sakura was relieved to see that her friend was alright. She rushed over to Hinatas side and embraced her. "I was really worried, Hinata-chan. What happened?" 

Hinata was uncharacteristically depressed. Ino, who was sitting right beside her, comforted her but she looked disstressed. "Sakura-chan, I… I couldn't…" she whispered. 

Sakura looked over to Ino and asked: "What happened?" 

"She got attacked by a still unidentified shinobi," Ino replied slowly. "He was killed, but it still worries me that he managed to get this far. I cannot believe someone was able to enter the village with all the Anbu around." 

"Did anyone get hurt? Are you alright, Hinata?" 

"The heiress is unharmed, thank god. Hiashi-sama would have killed us if anything had happened to her," she heard someone say. 

"But the one who protected her got hurt," Ino said gravely. "I think that's why she is so distressed." 

"It's just a member of the branch house. His wounds will heal," one of the Hyugas said.

Sakura searched the room until she found Neji standing in the corner. Her apprehension was confirmed when she noticed the bandage on his left wrist and the bruise on his lower lip. No doubt that it was him who had protected Hinata. Sakuras brows furrowed in anger. Just a member of the branch house? Was that how they treated him? Just a servant who's only purpose was to protect the main family? It wasn't fair. His eyes narrowed, but she could see no hatred in his eyes. There was only anger, but not against the main house. 

While everyone else seemed to completely ignore him, she stood up and walked over to him. "Neji-san," she said politely. "You were the one who protected her, right?" He made no attempt to answer her question, but his injuries spoke for themselves. She bowed before him slightly and calmly said: "Thank you very much. Hinata is one of my dearest friends." 

He seemed slightly surprised, but the look quickly disappeared from his features to be replaced with his usual, expressionless face. "It's my duty to protect the Hyuga heiress." 

Sakura smiled sadly at him. She reached out as if to touch his injured hand, but then she changed her mind and just nodded briefly. She returned to Hinata's side, comforting her friend while the adults were still debating what to do next. Hinata was awfully quiet. 

"Maybe we should bring her to her room," Ino suggested. 

Sakura nodded. They took Hinata to her room, leaving the adults and Neji behind to discuss whatever there was to discuss. When they were alone, Hinata finally said something. "Sakura-chan… thank you. For saying such a nice thing to Neji-niisan." 

"It's the truth. I don't ever want you to get hurt."

"I do not deserve this," Hinata muttered. "I wasn't strong enough to defend myself. Because of me, Neji-niisan got hurt." She shook her head, tears threatening to fall. "I don't understand why everyone is protecting me. I'm useless as a Shinobi. They would be better off without me." 

"Don't say such things," Ino said, hugging Hinata worriedly. "Neji is okay, it's just a scratch." 

They tried to comfort Hinata, but the Hyuga heiress was too depressed to listen to them. Minutes passed, then the door opened and Neji entered the room. Sakura had a hard time trying to avoid his gaze, while Ino asked sharply: "Has the family decided what to do about this?" 

"Yes. Members of the branch family will watch over her until Hiashi-sama returns." 

"Neji-niisan," Hinata said almost inaudibly. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault." 

His brows furrowed. "Then stop crying and become stronger. The next assassin probably won't be just on Chuunin-Level." 

"Yes, Neji-niisan." 

Since Hinata had her head bent down anyway, Neji was now staring at Sakura. She could not stand these eyes upon her, not even in this situation. "Ino… will you stay with Hinata tonight? I have to leave…" 

"Sure," Ino said with a grin. She probably knew why Sakura was so uncomfortable in this house. Her face grew serious quickly though. "But be careful. Today's events proved that the hidden leaf village isn't as safe as it used to be and it's dark outside." 

"I will walk her home." Everyone in the room, even Hinata, stared at Neji. He pretended not to notice and left the room with a sharp "Are you coming or not?" 

Sakura looked at Ino for help, but her friend just grinned. She accepted her fate and followed Neji who was waiting for her at the front door. She was thankful for his offer, but to her apartment it was a 10 minutes walk and she didn't know what to talk about with someone like him. "I really appreciate that you want to walk me home, Neji-san, but you don't have to." 

"I don't want another kunoichi attacked tonight," he simply said. 

Sakura sighed inwardly. So it was settled. They spend the first few minutes in silence. Strangely enough, Neji was adjusting his pace to hers, but probably it was just because he didn't know where she lived. Just to break the silence, Sakura eventually asked: "Does it hurt?" 

"What?" 

"That wound on your arm." 

He briefly shook his head. "I've had worse." 

"I… I'm really glad Hinata has someone like you to watch over her. Without you, she might be dead." He turned his head to stare at her angrily. She wondered if she had said something wrong. "Why are you looking at me like that? I just meant…"

"I wasn't strong enough," he hissed. "He was so close to killing her… if I had sensed his presence just a few seconds later, Hinata-sama would be dead for sure. Hiashi-sama is not going to like that." 

"But it wasn't your fault! You did your best to protect her and she is unharmed!" 

"That's not the point! Hiashi is going to punish me for sure." 

She couldn't believe her ears. "Punish you? But for what?" 

"For not being there sooner. I was the one who was supposed to take care of her," he snapped. What surprised her the most was that he wasn't angry at Hiashi for being unfair, but he was angry at himself. 

"You could not know that something like that was going to happen! You're not a servant with only a purpose to protect…" 

He stopped and growled furiously: "That's _exactly _what I am!" 

Once again she could sense his good heart and it made her happy. "To Hiashi-san, maybe. But not to Hinata. And not to me." She took a step forward and placed her hand against his chest. "I know you have a kind heart, that's why I like you so much. Don't be so harsh on yourself. You protected my friend and that's what counts for me." She wasn't sure where these words were coming from, but it was what she truly felt. Yes, she liked him, a lot. She cared for him. 

She took his hand into hers and placed it against her cheek. "Please, Neji-san. Promise me one thing. Take care of yourself too. I don't want either of you to get hurt." 

He stared at her in awe, obviously at a complete loss of words. 

He was so attractive at this moment, that the urge to step forward and kiss him was almost overwhelming. The sweet memory of their previous kiss was still on her mind and a part of her longed to feel these lips on hers again. To get to know the real Neji, to see the kindness he tried not to show. 

But there was something that kept her from letting these feelings take control over her. It was a memory of a dark-eyed boy who's last words to her had been "Thank you", before turning his back on the hidden leaf village. 

With a soft sigh, she let go of Neji's hand. "We should pick up the pace. I'm getting cold." She couldn't allow herself to get attached to Neji when Sasuke was still on her mind. It wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't work. She didn't want to forget Sasuke. She didn't want to stop loving him. Not now, not ever. 

The rest of the walk was spent in silence once again, each of them was caught in their own thoughts. When they finally arrived, Sakura wasn't even sure if she was relieved or disappointed. She fumbled with her keys and he patiently waited until she had opened the door. Before he could leave, she heard herself ask: "You're going to come for Kakashi's new years party, right? I mean, Hinata will be there too and you could come too and… uhh… I would be happy if you came too …" She had whispered that last part as if she didn't want anyone to hear it. 

He shrugged. "I don't know." Probably he hadn't wasted a thought on how to spend new years eve yet. Sakura was so going to make Hinata drag him along! 

"Well, think about it. Good night, Neji-ku… Neji-san." 

Much to her surprise he said softly: "Call me Neji-kun if you like. I don't mind. Good night." He turned around and she watched him leave. There was again this tight feeling in her chest. He was dangerous. Not to her of course, but to her feelings for Sasuke. She clutched the fabric of her jacket and sighed. Why did he have to be so damn nice to her? 

_…tbc…_


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kakashi's new year's party was fun. His annual party had become a tradition and most genin and chuunin from Konoha – except for those who were out on super-important missions – were there. At 11pm, the hall he had rented was filled with young people, and Kakashi was, as usual, getting drunk while Iruka tried to talk some sense into him. Sakura didn't really feel like celebrating but Ino hadn't left her much of a choice but to show up. 

Secretly, she searched the room every once in a while for a certain silver-eyed young man, but Neji was nowhere to be seen. Neither was his cousin Hinata. Sakura and Ino were sitting on a table with Shikamaru, Naruto and some others. Ino was having a lot of fun flirting subtly with Shikamaru, but Sakura was depressed. Neji wasn't here, Hinata wasn't either. The new year wasn't going to be any better than the last. If only Sasuke were here… he would probably completely ignore her, but she would be happy admiring him from far, knowing that he was alive and alright. 

So while Ino ignored her best friend completely, Sakura got up every now and then to get something to drink. She hadn't eaten much over the day and she completely underestimated whatever nasty mixture Kakashi had bought for this party. 

At 11:45pm, when she had already given up any hope that the Hyuga cousins would show up, and her head was already dizzy from the alcohol, she heard a shy voice: "Sakura-chan. Sorry for being late." 

Sakura turned her head and smiled broadly at her friend Hinata and her cousin, who was standing beside her with his hands buried in his pockets. "Hinata! I'm so glad that you're here!" she exclaimed and jumped up to hug her friend tightly. Then she turned her attention to Neji. "Neji-kun. It's great that you came." 

He shrugged and Hinata grinned. "He had to come, the family wouldn't let me go without a bodyguard. But he volunteered for the job. Probably because you invited him?" 

Neji frowned at the giggling girls and folded his arms across his chest. Now that he was here, Sakura felt a lot happier. Hinata sat down, while Neji preferred to stand next to the table, and the girls started to discuss that thing that was going on between Ino and Shikamaru, until the music was turned off and Kakashis voice echoed through the room. "It's almost time! Get the kids something to drink!" 

Iruka complained but Kakashi was already too drunk to worry about some of the kids in the room being under the legal age for drinking. Naruto opened two champaigne bottles and everyone took a glass, waiting for the moment to celebrate the new year. Even Neji accepted the glass when Sakura handed it to him with a smile. 

And then Kakashi started the countdown, and the youngsters in the room joined him. "5… 4… 3… 2… 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!" 

The room was filled with rattling of glasses and happy wishes for a great new year. Sakura hugged all of her friends and wished them a happy new year, before she turned to Neji. She offered him an honest smile. "Neji-kun. I wish you a happy new year." 

He returned her words courtly, but was a bit surprised when she pulled him in for a kiss on his cheek. Sakura decided that maybe the new year wasn't going to be as bad as she thought. 

***

Two hours later, the hall had emptied somewhat. Ino and Shikamaru were dancing. Hinata and Naruto were sitting next to each other, talking since about midnight. The rest of the group was nowhere to be found. Sakura had fun watching Ino clutching to Shikamaru and a very delighted Hinata who was still brilliantly blushing but smiling widely. Whatever Naruto was saying, and Sakura was pretty sure it had to do with Ramen, Hinata looked as if it was the most interesting thing on the world. They all had someone to spend this evening with. 

And Sakura had Neji. It had taken her about an hour to convince him to sit down next to her. Every now and then he would throw a glance over to Hinata to make sure she was still there. He was quiet but Sakura kept talking and eventually, he opened up to her a bit. Every once in a while he would grace her with a reply or even a sarcastic remark, which made her burst into a fit of laughter, probably caused by the amount of alcohol she had consumed. 

When another lovesong echoed through the hall, Sakura playfully said: "Let's dance, Neji-kun. I love this song." 

He shook his head. "I don't… dance…" he muttered. 

She smiled sadly. Too much alcohol changed her mood all too quickly and now she felt another depressive swing coming. "I'm sorry. You must be pretty bored here with me. But it seems that everyone else is having such a good time… and you're stuck with me…" 

"No," he said. "I do enjoy your company, Sakura-san." He was staring into her eyes and she could tell he was honest. Sakura felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. 

"No fair…" she complained. "I call you Neji-kun, then you should call me Sakura-chan." 

There was no reply, he was probably at a loss of words. 

Sakura was a little embarassed too. "I'm sorry, Neji-kun. I think I had too many of these drinks… I feel tired and… I should go home…" Abruptly she stood up, not taking the effects of her last drink in consideration. She lost her balance and fell forward. 

Neji jumped up and caught her before she could fall. 

His strong arms were wrapped around her and Sakura fell completely silent. He was so close… far too close. Why had he caught her? Sasuke would not have bothered. Sakura was confused. She leaned on him with her full weight and stammered: "W-why…?" 

"You shouldn't go alone." His uncharacteristically soft voice sent shivers down her spine. 

With his help she got back onto her feet ungracefully, but his left hand was still placed loosely on her waist, just in case she'd fall again. She brushed her hair away from her face and muttered: "There's no one who would bring me home. I don't want to bother Ino or Hinata." 

"Neji-niisan could bring you home!" Sakura hadn't even realized that Hinata and Naruto were watching them. Hinata smiled shyly. "I don't want you to stay just because you have to protect me, Neji-niisan. Bring her home savely." 

"No. It's my duty to protect you, Hinata-sama." 

"I'll protect her!" Naruto exclaimed. "I promise you I won't let her out of sight for the rest of the evening." 

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata stammered and blushed deeply. 

Neji considered this for a moment. He respected Naruto and that was the only reason why he even bothered to consider his offer. Finally, he let out a sigh and said: "Very well. But you have to bring her home savely, Naruto." 

"Sure thing! And you take care of Sakura-chan, okay?" 

"Yeah." 

So it was settled. A flushed but very happy Hinata stayed with Naruto while Neji carefully guided Sakura out of the hall. When they were a few meters away from the entrance, Sakura stopped. "Neji-kun… I don't want to go home yet… I… I don't want to be alone." Why was she saying such things? She knew better than that and yet she couldn't keep herself from pouring out her heart in front of him. It was wrong. There was Sasuke and she shouldn't be alone with Neji. And yet, she said: "Can I come with you, Neji-kun?" 

His silver eyes narrowed as he stared at her, but after a moment of silence, he nodded. "Okay." 

She leaned closer to him and smiled. Tomorrow she was going to regret it. But today she enjoyed his company far too much to leave him yet. 

***

Quietly he led her into his room. She smiled when she saw the blanket neatly folded on his bed. So he had kept her gift. The door closed and he reached for the switch. Quickly, she stopped him. "No, I like it better when it's dark," she murmured. 

He smiled meaningfully at her and let go of the switch, leaving the room in comfortable twilight. 

She stepped closer to him and placed her hand against his chest. "Now that we're alone, would you like to dance with me, Neji-kun?" she purred. 

"There is no music..." 

"I don't mind," she muttered, her voice slurry. She draped her arms around his neck and started swaying back and fourth in an unheard rhythm that existed only in her mind. Neji placed his hands on her back and joined her, quickly adjusting to her rhythm. 

His arms around her and the smell of his skin, it was almost too much for her. She was drunk enough to forget about Sasuke and if she didn't give in to her feelings now she would never. "Neji-kun." She whispered and her lips faintly touched his ear. "I really like you." 

She started to kiss the soft skin below his ear, enjoying the taste. At first he didn't respond, then she felt his hand on the back of her head, his long, strong fingers brushing through her hair, ever so softly touching the sensitive skin on her neck. 

He softly tucked at a strand of her hair until she pulled back her head, and then they kissed. It was like their first kiss on that christmas evening and yet it was entirely different. Once again she noticed the taste of his lips and the tingling sensation within her stomach. His tongue licked over her lips and she opened her mouth willingly, deepening the kiss. She felt like she had lost the ground beneath her feet. So this was what a real kiss felt like. Sadly enough, it _was_ her first real kiss. She had wasted so many years waiting for Sasuke. 

In her current state, that thought made her sad. Neji showed her what she had missed all those years. It was so wonderful to be with him, and it was enough not to waste another thought on Sasuke. 

When they parted to gasp for air, Sakura stared deeply into these eyes, losing herself in his silver orbs. She stopped moving when she felt something soft touch her leg. They had subconsciously moved to the bed. She gasped for air. So this was it. If she wanted to stop him, she had to do it now. She was about to break her vow, the silent promise to save herself for Sasuke. 

It did not matter. 

She sat down on the bed and Neji leaned over her, kissing her intensely. Her hands searched and eventually found his hairband, untieing it so that his black hair fell openly onto his shoulders and tickled her when he leaned in too far. 

Sakura was well aware that they were going to have sex. And she wanted it, she wanted it so much that she tugged at his shirt, urging him to pull it over his head. But he wouldn't and when she grabbed the hem of his shirt to do it herself, he stopped her. Surprised, she stared at him. 

He stroke her cheek and asked softly: "What about _him_?" 

She knew who he was referring to. Sasuke. He was always there, standing between her and Neji, disturbing the fragile bond that had developed. Sakura shook her head. "I don't care." In all likelyhood, she would have said something completely different if she'd been sober. 

And Neji sensed that. "You're drunk," he muttered sadly. "That's why... nothing is going to happen tonight." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then his strong arms around her were gone. 

"Neji!" she cried. „Please, don't leave me like that!" 

He unfolded the blanket she had given to him and tucked her in. "I don't want you to do something you're going to regret tomorrow. Sleep well." And then she heard the door shut and she was left alone in his room. 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she curled up in a fetal position. Why didn't he want her? Why was Sasuke always there to destroy her relationships, even though he had left long ago? Why? "I don't want this love anymore!" she whispered as the first tears fell upon Neji's sheets. "I want to be free." Drowning in self-pity, Sakura cried herself to sleep. 

_…tbc…_

_***_

I'm still having problems with some english expressions and the grammar too... english is not my native language. But I'm trying to improve. Tell me if I make any nasty mistakes so they won't repeat. BTW, thanks to that friendly reviewer who told me about my bad punctuation. I tried to do it better in this chapter! 


	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Sakura woke up in Neji's bed, now sober and entirely regretful, she felt like killing herself. What had she done? She had been willing to give herself to Neji, she had practically _begged_ him to fuck her! It was embarassing. Sakura cried, when she got out of his bed. If there had ever been a chance for her to be more than friends with Neji, she had destroyed it. 

She sneaked out of the room, making sure that Neji wasn't around. Still having the blanket wrapped around herself, she stumbled over to Hinatas room. Hinata was already awake and – needless to say – she was shocked to see her friend at her house so early. "Sakura-chan! What… what the hell are you doing here?" 

"I-I came w-with Neji yesterday." Sakura sniffed. 

Hinata paled visibly. "You… and Neji-niisan…" 

"No," Sakura whimpered, "we didn't… god, I made such a fool out of myself…" And with that, she completely broke down. Sobbing, she sank to her knees and told a worried Hinata about last night's events. Hinata stayed quiet until Sakura calmed down a little. Eventually she wiped over her face and muttered: "I was so out of control… god, what does he think of me now? I acted like a cheap slut…" 

"Sakura-chan! He would never think of you that way, I know it." Hinata carefully said. "Neji-niisan likes you, he likes you a lot. If he didn't, he wouldn't have stopped you. You were in no condition to make a decision so he did it for you. He knows you were just drunk." 

Slowly, Sakura nodded. Yes, Hinata was right. Neji had been a complete gentleman. He could have used her but he didn't. "Damn...," she cursed. "He was so nice… Now I like him even more." 

***

Two days later, Sakura was sent out on a mission. She didn't have the time to talk to Neji before and so she left the hidden leaf village with bothersome worries about what he might think of her. The mission led her far away from her home village and during lonely nights in unfamiliar villages she swore to herself that she would settle things between them as soon as she'd return home. 

But when she came back after almost a week, things had turned out in an unexpected way once again. Neji wasn't there and Hinata told her, that her father had returned. As Neji had predicted, Hiashi was really angry at his nephew for not properly protecting Hinata and had punished him. The punishment was simple but cruel… he had locked up Neji in a separate room he wouldn't be allowed to leave for another 3 days. 

When Sakura heard that, she begged Hinata to help her visit Neji. And Hinata did. She was making sure that no one would show up unexpectantly while Sakura sneaked upstairs to the highest level of the building, where Neji was imprisoned. 

The 'prison' was not quite what she had expected. It was a small room with only a mattress on the wooden floor and a separate room which had to be the bathroom. There was no window in his small prison but one wall consisted of huge wooden bars, making it possible for any visitor to see into the room. Neji was seated on the mattress with his legs crossed and eyes closed. He was meditating. Well, there was nothing else he could do in there. 

"Neji-kun." Sakura knelt down in front of the locked entrance door and grabbed the wooden bars. 

Slowly, he opened his eyes. If he was surprised to see her, he hid it well. "Why are you here?" 

She smiled sadly at him. "I'm sorry that you have to go through this." 

"I see it as training," he replied. "I don't mind this kind of 'punishment'." 

Maybe he really didn't care. But Sakura couldn't bear to see him like that. "Isn't it lonely?" 

"Lonely…," he repeated. "I've always been lonely." 

"No." she whispered. "You're not. I missed you. Much." 

His face softened and he got up to walk toward her. "If you get caught in here, you'll get me in even bigger trouble." 

"Do you want me to leave?" 

"No." 

With a smile, she reached into the prison with her hand and Neji took it. "I'm sorry for being such a burden, Neji-kun. The way I acted after Kakashi's party…" 

"You were drunk. Nevermind it." 

"No. I don't want you to think that I'm the kind of girl who sleeps with anyone." She couldn't bear his gaze any more. "Yes, I was drunk. But I only allowed you to go that far because it was _you. _No one else would have come that far." 

"Why me?" 

She had asked herself that question too. Honestly she replied: "You've become an important person to me. If it wasn't for… for Sasuke, I would have fallen in love with you." 

Abruptly, he let go of her hand. "You still think you and Sasuke are meant to be, right?" 

"W-what?" 

"Sakura, I don't share. Not even with a man who has disappeared 3 years ago. If you still want to be with him, then you shouldn't come to visit me any more. You have to make a decision, if you have any interest in being with me." 

"Neji-kun, I…" 

"No. Don't say it yet. My punishment will be over in three days. Think about it and take your time to decide. And then let me know if you want to be with me or not. I will accept your decision, whatever it's going to be. Because," he reached through the bars and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her toward him to place a quick kiss on her lips, "you mean a lot to me." 

When he let go, Sakura was dumbfounded. Why? Why was he forcing her into a decision? Why now, why?! She couldn't take it any longer. She jumped up and practically fled the room. 


	5. chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Sakura? Are you sure you want to do this?", Hinata asked worriedly. Sakura nodded bravely. After taking over a week to think about Neji's word, she had finally made her decision. She had to talk to him. Now. Hinata placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't you want to think it over? I'm sure Neji-niisan understands if you take some more time to…" 

"No," Sakura interrupted her, "No matter how often I think this over, it won't change my decision. It's not fair to make him wait. Hinata, thanks for your support, but I have to talk to your cousin alone." 

"Okay, Sakura. I hope that you do the right thing." 

She lowered her head and secretly she thought, _I hope so too_. Hinata left and Sakura knocked on Neji's door. There was no immediate reply but eventually he asked her in. Hesitantly she entered the room. 

Neji was seated on his bed, wearing only his black shorts. At the moment he was tieing white bandages around his arm. Sakura decided that maybe she should have come later, it was a Sunday morning. She had assumed that someone like him would wake up early even on a Sunday morning, but obviously, she was wrong. As she could see, he had gotten up not long ago. 

When he saw her, he untied the unfinished bandages around his arm and got up. "Sakura." 

She had decided to make this as quick as possible, because if she didn't say it now, she would probably never find the courage. Sakura closed the door and went up to him. "Neji-kun. You… you wanted an answer. I'm sorry for taking so long." She took a deep breath. It hurt a lot more than she had expected. "I can't forget about Sasuke-kun. The… the answer is no." 

For the first time she could tell what Neji felt just from the look in his eyes. He was hurt. Sad. Angry. His hands clenched into fists and for a moment he just stared at her with these silver eyes. And then he said: "Very well. I guess that's it." He turned away from her. "You better leave." 

"Neji, I…" Sakura realized that there was nothing more to say. Holding back the tears she silently left the room, leaving Neji behind. 

He walked over to the window and watched her as she ran through the garden and away from the Hyuga estate. His brows furrowed and he murmured: "So I've lost to you, Uchiha Sasuke." 

***

Days passed and both Neji and Sakura spent their time brooding over what had happened. There were no current missions because it kept snowing. Konoha was already covered in a blanket of snow that reached up to one's knee. A huge snowstorm was expected when they heard about a near-by village being almost destroyed by that storm. Konohas Shinobi stayed at home, working with the civilists to secure their homes and prepare them to face a storm. 

Even though she knew she was stuck in Konoha, Sakura visited Tsunade every day, asking for a mission that would bring her out of the village. Every once in a while she would see Neji, who was busy helping people with his team. It hurt to see him. He always greeted her with a court nod of his head, but nothing more. Any emotion had disappeared from his eyes. Once again, she was only "Hinata's friend" to him, someone he knew but not someone he cared for. 

And then, one day, Sakura overheard a conversation between Tsunade and an informant. She had once again gone to the Hokage's office to ask for a mission. The door was half-open and she attempted to enter the room, when she heard one word that made her freeze in place. The word was _Sharingan_. 

Desperately she pressed herself against the wall and hid any sign of her presence, eavesdropping on Tsunade and the shinobi. 

The Hokage's voice sounded worried. "Are you sure? If you're right, the situation is really serious." 

„There is no mistaking it," the man replied. "I saw him with my own eyes. A tall man with dark hair. Chakra was flowing around him like an aura. And his eyes, it was like they could look into my soul. They were sharingan. I've seen the sharingan once, there is no doubt about it. He was an Uchiha." 

Sakura had to force herself to breathe. Finally, after all these months of desperate waiting, there was a sign of life. 

"This is bad. Especially now that we have all of our shinobi prepare the village for the storm. Going out to search for him would be too dangerous right now." The Hokage sighed. "I know that a lot of people from Konoha are waiting for Sasuke's return. But I cannot risk lifes just for a chance to find him. It's dangerous to leave the village as long as the weather is like that. And furthermore, this man might as well be Uchiha Itachi. He's a danger even to our strongest men. No, I cannot take that risk. Where exactly did you see him? I'll make sure that NONE of my men meets up with him." 

Sakura listened determinedly as the informant described the place he had met the Uchiha. When he had finished, Tsunade said: "Alright. I will take care of this issue as soon as possible. Until then, keep quiet about this."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." 

Sakura had heard everything she needed to know. When she hurried out of the building, making sure not to be seen, her thoughts were a mess. But she knew one thing: she had to go and find that man, that Uchiha. From what the informant had said it was likely that it wasn't Sasuke but his brother Itachi, but that made no difference. Even if it was Itachi, then Sasuke had to be somewhere near him. Unless Itachi had killed him. Sakura was afraid that she'd find out that, but what was worse than knowing that Sasuke was dead, was not knowing anything at all. 

That's why she had to go. Against all orders, against reason or sanity. She had to know. 

Quickly, she returned home and got her things packed. Then she wrote two letters, to her best friends, Ino and Hinata. If she was going to meet Itachi, chances were that she was going to be killed. And if she'd meet Sasuke… then she'd follow him, if he wanted her to or not. Either way, most likely she was not going to return home. When she had finished the letters, she attempted to write one more. To Neji. But she could not even write down one whole sentence. There were no words. Neji would never forgive her for choosing Sasuke over him. He probably didn't care about her fate anyway. 

On her way, she delivered the letters, making sure neither Ino nor Hinata would read them too soon. She threw one last glance at her home village, then she turned her back on it and followed her heart.

_...tbc..._


	6. chapter 6

Chapter 6.

It was _cold_. Her fingers and toes were already numb, the cold air hurt with every breath. But Sakura kept going. Step by step she fought herself through the snow. At the moment, she was lucky because the wind was coming from behind, blowing the falling snow only into her back. 

She had lost track of time, but she was sure that sundown would come soon. She had to hurry up if she wanted to reach her destination before the end of the day. In the darkness, she would never find the path. 

Sakura let out a cry of pain when she tripped over something and fell forward into the hard snow. Her fingers broke through the hard layer of snow and it cut painfully into her flesh. Determinedly, she got back up, drawing her coat closer around her trembling body. She wasn't going to let the snow or the cold slow her down. This was her only chance to find Sasuke. 

And she'd bear anything to find him. Anything. Sakura knew that she would freeze to death if she didn't find a place to stay for the night soon. But she didn't care. Nothing mattered to her any more. Nothing but Sasuke. This pain that had tormented her for the past three years had to end. 

***

Neji eyed the letter he had found on the doorstep curiously. Normally, no one would have found it until the next morning, but he had been out with his team securing houses against the upcoming storm until now. The letter didn't say who it was from, but on the backside there was written _To Hinata_. He had a strange feeling about this. Neji had learned to trust his instincts, that's why he went upstairs to bring the letter to his cousin. 

Hinata opened the letter, oblivious to who it might be from. But she paled when she read through it and gasped when she had finished it. "Neji-niisan!", she whispered and handed it to him with trembling fingers. 

He took the letter from her and read through it impatiently. 

_Dear Hinata,_

_You're one of my closest, dearest friends. I wish I could stay but today I overheard a conversation in the Hokage's office. A man with sharingan was seen in a nearby village. It might sound crazy, but I have to take this chance. Maybe I can find Sasuke, and if I do, I will go with him. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. I just wanted to say goodbye and apologize for leaving you behind. _

_Sakura._

Concerned, Neji lowered the letter. „This is insane," he growled. "She cannot survive in the snowstorm. And even if she does, no one knows what happens if she meets Sasuke, or even Itachi. That girls is crazy." 

"We have to inform the Hokage!", Hinata cried. "Sakura is risking her life, someone has to go find her!" 

"Tsunade won't allow anyone to leave the village at the moment. Going out in this weather is like suicide." Neji clenched his fists. Sakura was out there in the cold, all alone. He hated to admit it, but he was worried. What if something happened to her? He'd never be able to forgive himself. "Hinata-sama. I'll talk to Tsunade. We'll find Sakura." 

Hinata, who was already crying, nodded slowly. 

Neji ran out of the room. He had to hurry, Sakura might have been gone since hours. 

***

Sakura was getting desperate. Where was that damned village? She knew it had to be somewhere nearby. On a summer day, it would take no longer than one hour to reach it, and now she was on her way for at least twice as long and there was still no sign of it. Moving ahead under these conditions was agonizingly slow, but she should have reached it by now. Unless she was lost. Maybe she had followed the wrong path. 

The sky was becoming darker. And the wind was blowing hard. She wasn't sure for how much longer she could walk through the snow. She felt weak. It cost a lot of strength to move on. But she had a goal, that was what kept her from giving up. 

***

"What do you mean, you cannot help her?", Neji hissed. 

Tsunade shook her head. "I can't send out my men, it would be suicide!", she explained. "It's too dangerous, even for an experienced jounin. Sending out men to rescue Sakura would mean sending them against two enemies. The storm, and an Uchiha. Maybe Itachi. None of our men can fight him." 

„I can find a team and go after her!", Neji said. "Naruto will come with me, I know it. And…" 

"No! I will not allow this! Sakura knew what she was doing. I will send out a team to bring her back as soon as the storm is over, but no sooner than that. Until then, no one will leave konohagakure. Do you understand?" 

Angrily, Neji nodded. That stubborn old hag! He would go after Sakura, with or without the Hokages permission. He spun around and left her office. Tsunade had been stupid enough to mention the village Sakura was heading for. He returned home and got his things packed. Hinata entered his room to ask about the outcome of his talk with Tsunade. "That stupid woman doesn't want to send a team after her," he snarled. "I'll go look for her myself. I promise you I'll bring her back." 

He put on his warmest coat and grabbed his backpack. He knew that he was just as stupid as Sakura. But although she had turned him down, he could not stand the thought of her being in danger. 

***

Sakura stopped. She could sense someone nearby. Someone powerful. Usually she couldn't sense someone only by his chakra, but this person had to be unnaturally strong, because the feel to his chakra sent shivers down her spine. Either Sasuke or Itachi, he was close by. Sakura bit her lower lip. She couldn't believe her luck. She had found him, without even reaching the village. Or maybe, he had found her. But that didn't matter. 

It was so cold that she couldn't feel her fingers or toes any more. The thing that kept her going was the certainty, that she would find the desired answer soon. Maybe, this wasn't about Sasuke any more. It was about the truth, about knowing what had happened to him. 

A heavy wind blew right into her face and she lost her balance. She fell backwards into the snow and the scarf around her head loosened. Before she could grab it, it flew away, dancing in the wind before it appeared in the upcoming darkness. "Shit!", she cursed. Her long, pink hair flew openly in the wind, getting damp from the falling snow. 

Sakura tried to get back onto her feet, but he legs refused to work. They were numb from the cold. But she refused to give up just yet. There had to be a way to go on. She couldn't die here, not when she could feel that mans presence nearby. She crawled through the snow on all fours, fighting for every meter. The hard snow cut through her clothes and her flesh, leaving bleeding cuts. She hardly felt them, her skin was numb from the blistering cold already. 

For minutes, she fought her way through the snow, desperately, determinedly. 

And then she saw him. His black clothes contrasted the white snow that covered everything else. Chakra was flowing around him like a second skin, keeping away the snow from his clothes or his pale skin. He looked at her with his blood-red eyes. Sakura gasped. _Sharingan._ For a split of a second, she thought it was Sasuke. But he wasn't. Hoarsely she whispered: "Itachi!" 

_...tbc..._


	7. chapter 7

Chapter 7 

His eyes observed her emotionlessly. He was cold. She could feel it. His heart was black, nothing could bother him. He felt nothing, no regret, no hatred, no love. Never had she met someone like him. He was like Sasuke and yet he was entirely different. 

He was a dangerous man, but he had no intention to hurt her. She was far too weak to offer a good fight, that's why Itachi didn't care about her. 

When he attempted to leave, she reached out and yelled: "Wait!" With all the strength she had left, Sakura fought herself onto her feet. Itachi remained silent. Indifferent. „You are Itachi, aren't you?", she screamed against the storm. She took a few steps to get closer to him. When they were about 3 meters apart, she stopped. Something about him scared her. But she hadn't come this far to be scared by the coldness in his eyes. "You are Itachi, right?" 

There was a short pause, then he nodded briefly. 

"Do you know where Sasuke is? Have you met him?" There was no answer. Sakura felt her strength leaving her. She had to get an answer before she lost consciousness. "Please, tell me," she begged. "I need to know. Have you seen your brother?" 

His piercing gaze made her knees tremble in fear. He took a step forward. She had no idea what he was about to do. She resisted the urge to spin around and run away. Something about him scared her beyond reason. 

And then he spoke, with a soft, low voice that just didn't fit his appearance. "Why were you following me? If you are looking for my brother, he is not here." 

"I followed you because I am looking for an answer. Itachi-san, please, tell me where he is. Did you meet Sasuke-kun? Did you… did you kill him?" 

He raised an eyebrow and within a split second, he was standing in front of her, close enough that if she reached out she could touch him. "A weak kunoichi from the hidden leaf village," he stated calmly. Sakura was no longer shaking from the cold that didn't seem to affect this man at all. His eyes… they were as scary as Sasuke-kuns had been during the chuunin exam. But Itachi's eyes had an insight Sasuke would probably never have. It was like she couldn't hide anything from him. He could look directly into her soul, read her thoughts and manipulate her mind if he wanted to. This was true power and for a split second, Sakura understood why so many people were searching for this. It had a morbid fascination to it, a part of her wanted to stay close to this kind of power and inherit a piece of it too. And she was scared of that part of her soul, even more than she was scared of Itachi. 

His eyes never left hers as he said: "You are looking for Sasuke-kun? Our final battle has yet to come." When he mentioned his brother's name, an emotion flickered across his features. She had been wrong. The only thing this man could still feel was _pain_. In those eyes she could clearly see sadness when he talked about his brother. Did he regret his doings after all? 

His eyes and everything she could see in them distracted her, but the meaning of his words finally sunk in. "So, he is still alive?", she whispered. Her heart was pounding heavily against her chest. This was the answer she had been looking for. 

Itachi's face changed, but she could not read the expression on it. His face was like a mask. "Yes. He is Orochimaru's puppet now," he said with that disturbingly soft voice. 

"Thank god," she whispered. A tear slid down her cheek, a tear of utmost relief. Sasuke was alive. Even if he was with a man as dangerous as Orochimaru, he was alive. 

"Have you found your answer, little girl?" 

With a sad smile, she nodded. "Yes. Yes, I have." And then her knees gave in, her body was finally overwhelmed by the cold. Sakura no longer cared. She fell into the soft snow and before she lost consciousness, she thought she heard his soft voice say: "He will come back to you alive, little girl. I promise." 

***

Itachi looked down on the unconscious girl indifferently. She had outdone herself, if she was left here, she would die for sure. He tried to think back to the time when he had still been able to feel the cold. Nowadays, he had a wall of chakra protect him from the snow or any other of nature's obstacles. He could walk through the snowstorm forever without even getting cold. 

He raised his head when he sensed something. An unfamiliar chakra was coming this way. Itachi nodded to himself, turned around and was gone. 

***

Neji was worried. Just a moment ago he had sensed this incredibly strong chakra, and now it was gone. Her chakra had faded to almost nothing a while ago. In all likelyhood, Sakura was unconscious. But the other chakra worried him a lot more. It definitely wasn't Sasuke's aura, it was far too strong for that. Maybe it was Itachi after all. 

As a child, he had met Itachi once, during a celebration at the Uchiha territory. The entire Hyuga clan had been invited to celebrate the Uchiha heir's birthday. Neji remembered how he had hid behind his father when he had met the eyes of that boy, the uchiha prodigy. And he had heard what the adults said about him. They called him a monster and how they could see his heart filling with darkness. The Hyuga clan had never liked Itachi. Probably because his strength was a threat to their power. But after seeing those eyes, Neji knew it wasn't the only reason. Itachi had always possessed a heart that searched for power. 

Neji knew Itachi had wiped out his clan except for his brother. But no one knew about his motives, and that's what made him an inpredictable opponent. It was not very likely that he had attacked Sakura. But one could never be sure. No one knew what was on Itachi's mind. 

When he arrived at where he had last sensed the powerful chakra, he stopped. No one was there. If there had ever been footprints in the snow, they were already gone, covered with fresh layers of snow. The wind had gotten stronger, and so had the snowfall. If it hadn't been for the byakugan, Neji would have gotten lost on his way long ago. But using them wasted up a lot of chakra. He couldn't go on like this forever and now that he could hardly feel her chakra, he didn't know where to go. 

He was about to move on, when he saw a faint black color about 20 meters away, contrasting the white snow. He approached it. It was a handle of a sword, stuck deeply in the snow. His brows furrowed. And then he saw a hint of pink hair beneath the newest layer of snow. He fell to his knees and shove away the snow, uncovering her face. "Sakura!", he screamed and cradled her in his arms. Her breathing was faint, but it was there. Her skin was unnaturally cold to the touch. It was a sheer miracle that she was still alive. 

"Sakura, wake up!", he yelled into her ear and shook her violently. Although he knew it was stupid to waste any more energy, he created a layer of chakra around his body to warm her up somewhat. Once again he shook her roughly, but she stayed unconscious. His chest tightened in fear. She couldn't die, not like this, not for that useless bastard Sasuke. "Don't die, Sakura! Do you hear me? You cannot die already!" He slapped her hard across the face and finally, her eyes opened. "Sakura. Stay awake!", he yelled. "If you want to live, then stay awake!" 

He lifted her into his arms and kept screaming at her not to fall asleep. Her eyelids were half-open but her arms encircled his neck and she held on to him as if for dear life. Neji fought his way through the storm. At least he knew the way. The village wasn't far and he could see it with the byakugan. He just needed enough strength to get her there. 

"Neji," she muttered over and over again. And once he could hear her say: "I'm sorry." A few meters before the entrance to the village, she lost consciousness again, but Neji had no more time to wake her up. He just had to get someones attention. Then they'd be safe. The entrance was barricaded, probably because of the snowstorm. He surely didn't have enough power to climb it. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a kunai and an explosion note. He wrapped the paper around the kunai and with all the strength he had left, he threw it against the barrier. The kunai got stuck in the wood and he sighed in relief. He managed a few more steps before he collapsed to his knees. 

The note exploded and allthough it didn't do much to the barrier, it got someones attention. He heard voices and after a few moments of painful waiting someone saw them. A few people climbed the walls of the village and ran towards them. Neji heard them ask him questions but he couldn't make out the sense of their words. He just stammered, "The woman. She's probably injured. Take care of the woman." Sakura was taken from his arms and then he allowed himself to faint. 

_…tbc…_


	8. chapter 8

Chapter 8

Warmth. It was the first conscious sensation. Everything was warm. She remembered being so very cold, thinking that she could never feel warm again. But she was now. It was warm and safe and comfortable. Slowly, she opened her eyes, not because she wanted to wake up, but out of curiousity. 

What she saw was rather unexpected. It was bare flesh. She blunk unbelievingly, but the sight wouldn't go away. She was staring at a man's naked chest. Hesitantly she raised her head to see his face. Neji. She was lying in a small bed with Neji Hyuga. One of her hands was touching his skin lightly, as if to make sure he was there. Neji was still asleep. For some reason, he was not only stripped of his clothes but also his forehead protector. His black hair fell upon his shoulders openly, making his flawless face even more handsome. 

Why was he here? She remembered his voice, screaming at her not to fall asleep. He had been there, out in the snow. Carried her in his arms. More memories returned and she realized why she felt so… happy. 

She had met Itachi and he had given her an answer. Sasuke was alive. A grateful smile crossed her lips. To know he was alive was all she needed. Now she was able to let go. He had chosen a path different from hers. He was with Orochimaru, still seeking revenge. And Sakura realized astonishedly, that it was no longer hurtful to think of him. Something was gone. Her love for him had faded into something else. She still thought of him with regret and the faint wish that she could have been with him. But she was no longer in love with Sasuke. 

When she looked at Neji now, she felt a blush on her cheeks. He was handsome. And he had come to rescue her. He had almost died trying to help her. Sakura couldn't help it when she shuffled closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you, Neji-kun. Thank you so much." After being face to face with Itachi, after getting the long desired answer, she had been willing to die. But now she was nothing but graceful that Neji had been there to save her. 

He moved in his sleep and placed an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. And when her chest touched his, she realized that she was naked too. Completely naked. Her breasts touched his bare chest and a deep blush colored her cheeks. She tried to escape from his strong arms, but even in his sleep he wouldn't let her go. 

So she eventually shrugged and gave in to his embrace, enjoying the warmth emitting from his body. When she thought about it, Neji had been there to save her. She had always dreamed of a man who would come and save her life. Now that she was no longer fixed on Sasuke, she could finally see what she had. He was handsome, she adored the contrast of his pale skin and the long, black hair. With her left hand she stroke a strand of his hair out of his face. He was not only handsome, he was also intelligent, strong and kind. And he wasn't hiding his kindness as well as Sasuke always had. It shone through his beautiful silver eyes whenever he would look at her. 

Her face darkened when she realized that she could have been with him. But she had ruined it. She had broken the fragile bond between them for someone who had never returned her feelings. For someone who had left her, abandoned her. Who had never cared. 

Neji was a proud man. He wouldn't give her a second chance. 

"I'm such an idiot," she whispered. "I turned you down, I ran away from my feelings just because I thought I had to wait for Sasuke. If I had the choice now, I would choose you, Neji. You mean so much more to me than he does. I… I think I love you." She broke down with a sob, crying silently against his chest. 

His breathing became unregular as he woke up. His arm around her loosened and then he asked softly: "Why are you crying, woman?" 

"N-Neji…", she muttered, not daring to look into his eyes. "It's nothing. Nothing." She wiped her eyes angrily. 

"Don't lie to me, woman." He lifted his arm and his fingers encircled her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "What's wrong, woman? You found your answer, didn't you?" 

"Yes. Yes, I did," she whispered. "Sasuke-kun is still alive." 

"Then why are you crying?" 

"I'm not crying," she replied stubbornly. She grabbed the blanket and clutched it in front of her chest, sitting up in the small bed. Now that she had realized her feelings for him, she didn't want to be so close to him any more. 

He sat up as well, and when he spoke up she was taken aback by the angry tone of his voice. "So this is it? After all that has happened I don't even deserve an answer? You're a selfish person." 

He had never talked to her like that before. She had seen him angry, but never had his anger been directed towards her. It hurt, it hurt enough to bring fresh tears to her eyes. "Neji, I was just…" 

"Spare me, Sakura!", he interrupted her. "I've had enough of your self-pity. Sasuke is GONE, but instead if dealing with it you run away from home and make your friends worried. You got yourself in danger and now you're drowning in self-pity again. I'm fed up with this." He grabbed her by her upper arm and shook her as if he tried to bring some sense into her. "You could've died, Sakura! Do you understand that?" 

That was enough to make her cry and there was nothing she could do about it. "I'm sorry," she stammered. He was right. If it hadn't been for him, she'd be dead, frozen to death out there in the snow. The thought scared her. Why had she been willing to risk her life just for a piece of information that hadn't brought her closer to Sasuke? She tried to free her arm but he wouldn't let go. She felt like a child being scolded by its parents, but at this moment it was his right to be angry. He had saved her life. 

"Is that what you wanted, Sakura? To die for a guy who left you?" 

"No… No!", she whimpered. "I didn't want to die. I just wanted peace after three years of uncertainty." His brows furrowed and he stared at her angrily. "Don't hate me, Neji. I'm grateful that you saved me, I never intended to die." His features softened a little and she let go of the blanket to embrace him and press herself tightly against his bare chest. "Forgive me for being so selfish," she whispered. She didn't mind that they were both naked. She was agitated and she could do nothing but pour her heart out to him. "I regret what I did, Neji. I had the chance to be with you but I wasted it, just to run after someone who didn't even care for me. But I had to hear what Itachi told me, to be free. Neji-kun, I'm in love with you." 

They both fell silent and the only sound that filled the room were her sobs, which turned into hiccups over time. 

Eventually, he said softly: "I don't hate you, Sakura." His strong fingers stroke her back and she felt so warm and secure in his arms. It was wonderful and for the first time she was really able to enjoy this feeling without guilt. He would not confess his undying love for her. He never would because she had hurt him once. But he didn't hate her and for today, that was enough. She was exhausted from crying and the warmth of his body relaxed her. He pulled the blanket over both of them and leaned back. "Get some sleep, okay?" 

Her hand searched his and their fingers intertwined. "Promise me that you'll be there when I wake up," she muttered, trying to fight back sleep. 

"I promise." 

His regular breathing and the faint touch of his fingertips soothed her back to sleep. 

***

As soon as he was sure she had fallen asleep, Neji crawled out of the bed. He would have liked to stay there with her and get some sleep as well, but he had to find out if they were safe here. He searched the room until he found their clothes, now clean and dry. He slipped into his black pants, not bothering to put on his shirt for now. 

Then he inspected the room. It was small and the cupboards and cabinets contained medicine and other stuff that led to the conclusion that they were in a hospital. His last memory was collapsing in front of the villagers. They must have brought them both to this place. He went over to the window and shoved the curtains aside. They were approximately on the second or third floor of a huge building. And from up here he had a good view on the village. The storm was over. The sky was bright and the sun was shining on a village that was practically drowning in tons of snow. Probably it wasn't any better at the hidden leaf village. 

There was a faint knock on the door and then an elder woman in a nurse's uniform entered the room. "So you're finally awake. We were wondering for how much longer you two were going to sleep." Her smile was warm and he could tell that they were currently not in danger. "

"Where are we? Is this a hospital?" 

The nurse nodded. "Of course it is, dear. You were completely exhausted and the girl was half frozen. You can be glad that we found you so quickly or else she might not be here right now. What were you doing out in the snow anyways?" 

"That's not important any more," he said impatiently. He didn't feel like answering some womans questions. Not after what Sakura had just told him and not after what they'd been through. "This room is a little weird. What's with the pills and everything. And why do we have only one bed?" 

"We were short of beds after the storm. We figured that you guys were a couple, we gave you one bed together. She doesn't look like she didn't enjoy it, honey." 

Neji resisted the urge to make a face. Stupid woman. "Very well. Is she ready to leave the hospital?"

"We'd rather watch over her for a few more days, but if it's important you can take her with you." 

"We will leave as soon as she wakes up," he stated matter-of-factly. 

The nurse smiled. "But before you leave you should eat something. I'll bring you something." 

Neji nodded. "Thank you." 

The door closed and he walked over to the bed. Sakura was still exhausted enough that she hadn't woken up during his talk to that annoying woman. He'd let her sleep for a while. But he didn't plan on staying in this village for any longer than necessary. These people had saved them and he hated being in someone's debt. 

_...tbc..._


	9. chapter 9

Chapter 9 

Wrapped in warm clothes from generous villagers, Neji and Sakura left the village at the early afternoon on the same day. The sun warmed the air a little, but the snow was by now reaching up to Sakuras hips. They were going to take a lot longer for the way home than they would have on a summer day. 

As soon as the village was out of sight, Neji calmly asked: "What did he tell you?" She eyed him questioningly and he added: "Itachi. What did he say?" 

She avoided his gaze. "He said that their final battle was yet to come. And that Sasuke is with Orochimaru at the moment." 

"What makes you so sure that he told you the truth?" 

"He has no reason to lie. Even if he killed Sasuke, I surely am not strong enough to take revenge. I was no threat to him, so why would he lie to me?" 

Neji nodded. That's what he had expected. "So he did not hurt you." 

She shook her head no. "I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but still I was more scared than ever before in my life." 

"Why?" 

Sakura shrugged. "It's hard to explain. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. At first I thought that he wasn't able to feel anyhing at all, but then, when he was close to me, I saw something in his eyes… I think he still feels pain. Maybe even regret, maybe he is sorry for what he did." 

"Strange…", Neji mused. 

She eyed him curiously. "What's strange? Is there something I should know?" 

"Yes… well, I remember how I found you. You were already covered in snow. It would have taken a lot longer to find you there if it hadn't been for that sword… It was stuck in the snow right next to you." 

"Sword? As in a katana?", she questioned surprisedly. "I didn't have that kind of weapon with me." 

"But Itachi did, right?" 

She nodded dumbfoundedly. This meant… no! Impossible. "Are you trying to say that he…" 

Neji shrugged. "I can't find any other explanation. Maybe he put that sword there to show me where to look for you. If I could feel him, he must have felt my presence too." 

"That doesn't make any sense. He killed his clan, why would he care about me?" None of them could find an answer to that. It was a mystery. But then again… "There is something else…", Sakura muttered. "Before I fainted… I could swear I heard him say something… something like _I promise he will return to you alive_. But I can't say for sure if it wasn't just a dream of if he really said that." 

"Hmm…" 

They spent the rest of the way quietly, brooding over what had happened. 

***

Tsunade was _furious_. Sakura and Neji were standing in front of her desk like little kids while the Hokage paced up and down in her room. "I cannot believe that you would do something so stupid! You could have killed yourself! Is that what you wanted? I thought they tought you some responsibility at the academy!" 

Sakura bit her lower lip, feeling extremely guilty. Neji listened to Tsunade with clenched fists. He knew very well that it wasn't healthy to talk back to Tsunade if she was angry, but it was obvious that he wouldn't put up with her telling-off for much longer. 

Tsunade stopped in front of Sakura and pointed at her accusingly. "You! You recently passed the chuunin exam, Sakura! I was told that you're one of konoha's most intelligent shinobi. And yet you leave the hidden leaf village just for a chance to find Sasuke. I'm disappointed. I would have expected that kind of irresponsible behaviour from a lot of people, but not from you!" 

Sakura lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama." 

The Hokage moved over to Neji. "And you! You're almost seventeen years old, Neji-kun! Gai registered you for the next jounin exam because he thought you were ready. But I have serious doubts about that. You disobeyed my direct order and risked your life!" 

"It's not Neji's fault!", Sakura said. "He saved my life, it's all my f…" 

"Quiet!", Tsunade hissed. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Very well. When I found out that you both left, I was ready to kill you with my own hands. But it's good to have you two back in one piece. We know now that Sasuke-kun is with Orochimaru, and Neji, you rescued Sakura." Neji just nodded. Tsunade paused for a moment, thinking of a punishment. And then, with a huge grin on her lips, she said: "You're both grounded for two weeks." 

Neji and Sakura stared at the Hokage unbelievingly. "Grounded?!", they muttered in unison. 

"Yes indeed. I will cancel all assigned missions and you are not allowed to leave the village." 

That was too much. "This is ridiculous!", Neji hissed. "I'm not a child! My team cannot complete missions without me." 

"I'm sure they'll do fine without you, Neji-kun," Tsunade announced, obviously pleased with her idea. "You better be glad that I didn't take back your registration for the jounin exams!" 

His fists clenched until his knuckles turned white, but he kept quiet. Sakura felt extremely guilty. She deserved every kind of punishment for being so selfish (Neji's words at the hospital had had the desired impact on her). But Neji didn't. But it wouldn't change anything if she provoked Tsunade now, it would just make things worse. 

They turned around quietly, attempting to leave the office. "Oh, wait a second!", Tsunade chirped. "I forgot to tell you… you'll make yourself useful during the next two weeks. You two will help the villagers cleaning the streets off the snow. Got that?" 

Neji flinched but he took it quietly, leaving the office followed by Sakura. 

As soon as they were out of earshot, Sakura muttered: "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, Neji-kun." 

He glared at her and she fell silent. Without saying a word, her turned his back on her and walked away. Sakura lowered her head. Neji would never talk to her again.

_...tbc..._


	10. chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sakura, Ino and Hinata were sitting on Sakuras bed. It was the third day of Sakuras 'detention' and the girls had met up to discuss the current situation. 

"We have been cleaning the streets for three days and I still didn't get the chance to talk to Neji!", Sakura complained. "I mean, three days! We're both assigned for the same task but he always keeps at least 10 meters away from me. It's awful! And I tell you, I'm starting to hate snow. I swear, I even dream of snowhills at night. Two weeks…" 

"And you deserve every second of it," Ino interrupted her. "Serves you right! You could have been killed out there." 

"Ino, I apologized at least a thousand times! So please stop reminding me." 

Hinata nodded. "You should give it a rest, Ino-kun." She turned to Sakura. "I'm sure, Neji-niisan won't be angry at you forever." 

Sakura buried her face in her hands. "But this is emotional torture! There is so much we have to talk about! I almost had sex with Neji after that party, then I choose Sasuke over him, he saves my life, we wake up in the same bed naked… could this relationship be any more complicated?" 

With a deep sigh, Ino muttered: "Yeah, and who's fault is that? You could be together with him if you hadn't…" 

"Ino!" Sakura rubbed her temples. "Please, _don't _say it. I feel bad enough about this already." 

***

Sakura was desperate. Five days and Neji still didn't talk to her. It wasn't like he was completely ignoring her. He would greet her with a nod or a quick "Hi" in the morning, but nothing more. He commented her attempts to start a conversation with a shrug, or an impatient "Hn". It was bad, working side by side with the man she was in love with and yet not being able to engage a normal conversation. 

Today she decided to give it another try. "Neji-kun? W-would you like to come over for lunch today? I could cook your favourite meal if you like." 

He stopped shovelling snow for a moment to look at her. He opened his mouth to answer but before he could say something, something came flying and hit Sakura directly in the face. With a frustrated scream she wiped the snow out of her face and searched for the 'attacker'. 

"Hahaha, got ya!" Ino laughed. She and Naruto were standing not far from the two grounded shinobi. Ino had another snowball in her hand and when Sakura glared at her, she threw it at her friend. 

Sakura ducked away under the snowball and grabbed a fistfull of snow. "Just you wait, Ino-pig-chan!!!!", she yelled while she formed a snowball. She aimed for Ino, but the snowball hit Naruto. He made a face and the inevitable happened: Sakura threw away her shovel and a snowball fight between the three started. 

Neji was the only one who stood aside, watching them throw snow at each other and running after each other. From time to time a misguided missile flew towards him, but he effortlessly dodged them all. 

It had been a while since Sakura had had that much fun. It was great to tease Naruto who was a little afraid to hurt her and it made her proud when she managed to hit Ino in the face with a snowball. She enjoyed their fun in the snow and for a moment she forgot about Neji, who looked almost forlorn. 

The last snowball was thrown by her and it hit Naruto in the back of his head. He screamed like a girl when the cold snow fell into his jacket. "Sakura!!!", he yelled. "I'm going to get you for this!" 

Sakura shrieked and ran away, feigning fear of his revenge. She didn't come very far before a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and Naruto yelled: "I caught you! Hahaha!" 

She wiggled in his grip but he didn't let go. Instead her began to tickle her and Sakura was _really _ticklish. Her hysterical laughter echoed through the street and Naruto didn't let her go until she stammered a helpless: "I give up!" 

Sakura fell into the snow, gasping for air. Naruto was standing above her with a huge grin of victory on his face. When she had regained her composure, he offered her a hand. She took it and he pulled her onto her feet. 

***

Neji watched as the three had fun in the snow. Every now and then a snowball would come flying at him but he had no problem dodging them. At this moment, he hated Naruto and Ino. Sakura had just attempted to start a conversation, and although he hated to admit it, he longed to talk to her. It was almost unbearable working with her in this silence. But so far he had not found the courage to speak. Tsunade had _grounded _him like a misbehaved child in front of Sakura's eyes. It was so humiliating he thought he could never look straight into her eyes again. 

But he missed her. That day, on christmas eve, when she had given him that present with no fear of his reaction, he had fallen for her. And although she had injured his pride greatly when she had chosen Sasuke over him, he still couldn't forget about her. A part of him wanted to forgive her, and be with her. 

After receiving her answer from Itachi, she had changed. Maybe it was true, maybe she had given up on Sasuke. Neji inwardly cursed his damned pride that kept him from accepting his feelings. But today, he would have accepted her offer to have lunch with her. Just to be close to her. Damn that noisy Naruto and damn that bitch Ino. 

He watched as Naruto chased after Sakura and embraced her from behind. She was laughing, she looked so happy. _She never was this cheerful when she was with me, _he thought with remorse. Naruto started to tickle her and she laughed even harder. Nejis brows furrowed as jealousy overwhelmed him. He wanted to kill Naruto this instant. He wanted to go over there and punch Naruto in the face, real hard. And then show everyone that Sakura belonged to him. His fists clenched. 

"I give up! Naruto, I give up, stop it!", Sakura shrieked and fell into the snow exhaustedly. She was so beautiful with her flushed cheeks and that wonderful smile… Neji couldn't take it any longer. He wanted her to smile for him only. He turned around and left. He didn't care if Tsunade was going to rip him into pieces for that, he just couldn't take it any more. 

***

Sakura took a look around and her smile faded when she realized that Neji was gone. "Ino…", she muttered. "Where is Neji-kun?" 

Her friend shrugged. "He left when Naruto started to tickle you. He didn't look so very happy." 

Sakura bit her lower lip. "Shit." 

Only Naruto was completely oblivious. "Why? What's the problem?" 

"Nothing. You just made Neji jealous," Ino explained. 

"Neji? Jealous? Of who?" 

The girls completely ignored him. "He wasn't jealous. I guess he was just angry because I didn't do my work," Sakura assumed. 

Ino shook her head. "Believe me, he _was _jealous. You should have seen the look on his face. Neji still likes you, Sakura. I have no doubt about that." 

With a sigh, Sakura picked up her shovel. "But I do." 

Ino sighed too. "I've had enough of this. Someone has to do something, and I guess that someone will be me." With a wicked laugh that sent shivers down Sakura's spine, Ino walked away, undoubtedly plotting evil things. 

***

Although Neji still ignored Sakura, their days of detention were eventually over and things returned more or less back to normal. Sakura decided to leave Neji alone and it took forever to convince Ino not to interfere. 

Every once in a while she would meet Neji when she visited Hinata at home and he kept ignoring her. Sometimes he would grace her with a brief nod of his head or a simple greeting, but he kept his cool act around her. She could tell that it was nothing but his pride that kept him from talking to her, but there was nothing she could do. It was frustrating and it hurt to see him. But she left him alone. After all it was her own fault that he was angry at her. 

Days passed and she lost hope that he would ever open up to her again. 

_...tbc..._


	11. chapter 11

Chapter 11

With a cup of tea in her hand, Sakura was sitting on her bed, staring absent-mindedly out of the window. It was around 11:00 pm but she couldn't find any sleep. Her punishment was officially over, from now on she no longer had an excuse to see Neji. She didn't even know if that was a good thing or not. It had hurt a lot to be so close to him and yet not being able to talk to him. But at least she could watch him and be near him. Now it was over and she had missed the opportunity to apologize. 

Her gaze fell upon the frame on her nightstand. She placed the cup next to it and then picked it up. It was that single photo Kakashi had forced them to take, a picture of Team 7 with their sensei. She sighed as she brushed her fingers tenderly over the part that showed Sasuke. 

Slowly she took the picture out of the frame. It was indeed time to let go, even if things didn't look so good with Neji. With the photo in her hand she stood up and picked up the christmas gift she had bought for Sasuke years ago. She couldn't bring herself to throw it away because she still believed that he would return to the hidden leaf village someday. Then she would give it to him, but no longer as a prove of her love but as a reminder of their friendship. She missed him, she missed the days when Naruto, Sasuke and she had been a team. 

She opened the cabinet and placed both the gift and the photo on the highest shelf, hiding them behind her clothes. Tears filled her eyes when she closed the cabinet door. It was still hurtful and she cried because her heart had forgotten about Sasuke. She wandered over to the window and stared at the sky. _I wish you luck Sasuke. And I hope that one day you will come back safely. But I have to move on. _

Suddenly she felt lonely in her apartment. She wouldn't want to go back to her parents, they rarely were at home anyways, and she needed some private sphere. But on days like this she longed for someone to comfort her. She considered calling Ino or Hinata, but they were probably asleep already, or, in Ino's case, out with Shikamaru. 

The doorbell rang and startled her out of her thoughts. She wiped her eyes quickly and went over to open the door. When she saw the unexpected visitor, she was more than surprised. It was Neji. He was leaning against the doorframe, clutching his side. He had bruises and some light cuts on his face and his arms, he looked like he just returned from a harsh fight. "Neji-kun, you're injured! What happened?" 

"May I… come in?" 

"Oh! Of course, come and sit down…" She placed an arm around his waist and helped him over to her bed where she sat him down. He never removed his hand from his side. "Are you wounded?", Sakura inquired, totally forgetting about the awkward situation. "Let me see this." She shove his hand away and pulled his ruined shirt over his head. A _really_ huge bruise on his left side was revealed. Sakura winced. That had to hurt a lot. "God, how did that happen? Were you attacked on a mission?", she whispered. She had returned with bruises from missions too and she knew that these things could hurt quite a lot. In any case, they were nasty. 

"No," he said and raised his head to look at her. And with an exhausted smile that made him even more handsome than he already was, he told her, "I'm officially a jounin now." 

Sakura stared at him, dumbfounded. It took a moment before his words sunk in. "You… you passed the jounin exam?!" Without thinking, she threw her arms around him for a tight embrace. "That's great!!!" He winced but didn't push her away.

At first he was taken aback, but then he placed his hand on her back and pulled her closer to him. In fact, he buried his face in her hair and sighed in relief. Sakura felt her cheeks heaten up and her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. It felt so good to embrace him, she never wanted to let go. She inhaled the scent of his hair, tried to memorize it. She probably wouldn't have the chance to be this close to him again. 

Seconds passed, then their arms loosened and Sakura reluctantly pulled back. With a faint smile, she muttered: "Sorry, I hope I didn't hurt you." He just shook his head no and she said, "Congratulations, Neji-kun. I knew you'd pass." 

"Thank you." He paused for a moment and then added, "It came kinda unexpected, today morning I was told that I was to take the exam today, I didn't even have time to train." That was not what he wanted to say, nor what she wanted to hear. From what he looked like, he came directly to her after passing the exam. An unspoken question hung in the air and Sakura didn't dare to ask. After about a minute of silence, Neji reached out for his shirt and said: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll go home and…" 

"No!", she exclaimed before she could think about it. "I mean, you don't have to go. I'm glad that you are here." 

She was about to offer him something to drink when his eyes narrowed and he asked, "Were you crying?" 

Surprised, she wiped over her eyes and muttered: "No, I was just…" It was useless. Neji was a good observer, she couldn't lie to him anyway. "Yeah. Sometimes I get a little lonely in here." 

"Then I'm glad that I came. You shouldn't cry by yourself." 

Gathering up her courage, Sakura asked the question she had wanted to ask from the beginning: "Why did you come? You're injured, you should be at home and get some rest." 

"I had to talk to you first." His face softened. "The exam was a little different from what I expected. They did not only test my physical strength. Moreno Ibiki held the second part of the exam to test my mental strength. I saw someone very precious to me die and for a moment I thought it was real." 

"Who was it?", Sakura whispered. 

"You." 

Once again, Sakura was speechless. Neji had just admitted that she was precious to him. Precious enough that Ibiki had used his feelings against him. "Neji, I…." She couldn't bring herself to speak. Too many thoughts were running through her head, she was confused. 

"He taught me that life is short," Neji explained. His hand found hers and their fingers intertwined. "We are both shinobi. The next mission could be our last. I was stupid to treat you that way just because you injured my pride. Forgive me, Sakura. You're very important for me and I don't want to lose you because of false pride." 

Something rolled down her cheek and she realized that it was a tear. "I thought you hated me…" 

His hands reached out to take her face into them, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Sakura, I love you." 

It was like a dream but the feel of his hands on her face reminded her that this was real. "I love you too," she muttered. He leaned in to kiss her passionately and when they pulled apart, Sakura asked: "Does that mean we're officially together now?" 

He placed his forehead against hers. "You know… I'm not used to this relationship thing. I might hurt you." 

Sakura laughed in delight. "I'll take that risk." 

With a smile, Neji placed his hands on her hips and lifted her onto his lap so that she was stradling him. "What if Sasuke comes home?" 

Sakura sighed. "He still means a lot to me… but as a friend. You're the one I love and that won't change." 

"Good," Neji muttered and placed a hand on the back of her head. "I'd hate having to kill him." 

_…tbc…_


	12. chapter 12

Chapter 12

The beautiful summer sun was shining through the curtains, slowly waking up the young couple. Sakura and Neji were cuddled up in Sakura's bed. It was the fourth of July, about half a year after they had finally gotten together. And it was one day after Neji's 18th birthday. Sakura was the first one to wake up after a long night of a special birthday celebration for her lover. With a smile, she placed a kiss on his lips, which woke him up. He sighed contently and Sakura whispered: "Good morning, love. How does it feel to be an adult?"  

He pulled her in for another kiss and then he replied, "Feels good." 

She played with his black hair. "I wish we could wake up like this every morning." It was rare that they had some time together. Both of them still had to do their duty, often they were gone for days or – in Neji's case – even for weeks. And although Neji spent most of his time at Sakura's apartment, he officially still lived at the Hyuga estate. Hiashi wasn't exactly happy about his nephews relationship with a ninja who wasn't a member of a clan. Their moments together were rare. 

"You know," Neji began, "Tsunade will nominate new Anbu members in a few weeks. Chances are that I might be among them." 

Sakura sighed. "Which means your missions will become even more dangerous. Every time you leave, I worry about you. When you'll be an Anbu, I won't have a minute of peace." The thought that Neji might join the Anbu worried her so much that she thought she couldn't breathe. "But I know it's your goal to become the captain of the Anbu. That's why I'll support you, even if it kills me. Just promise me that you'll be careful." 

"I promise I'll always come back to you," Neji purred. 

Sakura suppressed the pain within her chest and forced herself to smile. "You liar. Don't promise things you cannot keep." 

"We're both Shinobi. We never know if we survive the next mission. But I'll do my best not to leave you." 

Sakura sadly quoted: "Being a ninja means to kill your feelings. A shinobi must possess a heart that never shows tears." She closed her eyes and took his hand to make sure he was still with her. "But if you died, I wouldn't know how to survive." 

"We never know how much time we have left. But until I die I want to spend as much time with you as I can." His fingertips stroke her bare skin. "Sakura? Let's get married." 

This took her by complete surprise. She fell silent and stared at him wide-eyed. When she found her voice back, she muttered: "Are you… serious?" 

He turned his head to look at her. "Yeah." She just couldn't believe her ears. He was proposing for her and his voice was like this was nothing important at all. He was smiling but the look in his eyes was serious. "I have been thinking about this, Sakura. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know that we belong together." 

So he did take it serious. Sakura smiled brightly at him. "Yes. Let's get married." 

They sealed their promise with a kiss. 

One week later, they were officially engaged. Hiashi wasn't entirely happy about it, but there was nothing he could do. Neji moved in with Sakura and the wedding was planned for the end of august. Sakura was happier than ever. 

She was oblivious to what was happening far away in the hidden sound country at the same time. 

***

Warm summer rain was pouring down on his unmoving body. His face was pressed into the mud. He knew he was going to die. Maybe there had never been a chance to survive this final battle. But he had to try. He could not have faced her as a coward. 

His eyes widened. Sakura. He had promised himself to come back to her. 

With his last amount of strength, Sasuke placed his hands on the ground and pushed himself up. He reached out for the broken sword next to him and his grip tightened around the handle. He heard his brother's voice, "So you still won't give up." He was coming closer. 

Sasuke knew that this was his last chance. "I have to… return to her…", he muttered. The curse spread, marking his pale skin. Itachi stopped right in front of his brother. "Sakura… this is for you…" 

With a wild scream, Sasuke jumped up and lunged himself at his brother. Maybe Itachi was too surprised to protect himself, in any case he did not move. The broken, yet sharp blade of the sword penetrated his chest and Sasuke pushed it in to the handle. 

Seconds passed by as the Uchiha brothers stared into each other's eyes. 

And then, Itachi collapsed. He was dead before he touched the ground. Sasuke fell to his knees. So this was it. Victory. The past would no longer haunt him. Itachi was defeated. Dead. He grabbed the handle of the sword and pulled it out of his brother's dead body. And then he forced himself to stand up. This nightmare was finally over. 

He would abandon Orochimaru and return to the hidden leaf village. To her. To Sakura. And then he'd finally make her his. 

OWARI 

***

This is not exactly an end, I know. But now you should read "I believed you", in case you haven't yet, to know what happens next. I planned to continue the story, to see what happens after the wedding, if Sasuke is going to give up on Sakura or not, etc, but I'm not sure yet. Writing the first chapter was a bit tough, but if I feel inspired there will be a sequel. Thanks for all the lovely reviews everyone! 


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